Everything has to be perfect.
Perfectionism often comes with a set of beliefs or delusions that keep people trapped in its cycle. These are the little lies we tell ourselves to justify the endless pursuit of flawlessness. Let’s take a closer look at some of these common delusions and why they might not be as true as they seem.
One of the biggest delusions is the belief that perfection is achievable. Many perfectionists think that if they just work hard enough, plan meticulously enough, or control every detail, they can reach a level where everything is perfect. But the truth is, perfection doesn’t exist—at least not in the way we imagine it. No matter how much effort you put in, there will always be something that could be tweaked or improved. Holding onto the idea that perfection is possible sets you up for constant disappointment because you’re chasing something unattainable.
Another common belief is that being perfect will lead to success and approval. Perfectionists often think that if they can just get everything right, they’ll be rewarded with admiration, validation, or some sense of security. But this is often an illusion. In reality, the relentless pursuit of perfection can actually hinder success. It can cause delays, create stress, and make it difficult to adapt when things don’t go as planned. Moreover, people might admire your efforts, but they’re also likely to notice the strain it puts on you—and that can be off-putting.
Then there’s the idea that making mistakes is unacceptable. Many perfectionists see mistakes as failures, signs that they’re not good enough. This belief can be paralyzing, leading to fear of trying new things or taking risks. But mistakes are an essential part of learning and growth. They provide valuable feedback and teach us what doesn’t work, which is just as important as knowing what does. Believing that mistakes are the end of the world only keeps you stuck, unable to move forward and grow.
Perfectionists also often believe that their worth is tied to their achievements. This delusion can be particularly damaging because it suggests that you are only as good as your latest success. When things don’t go perfectly, it can feel like a personal failure, leading to self-doubt and a constant need to prove yourself. But your value as a person isn’t determined by how perfectly you perform. It’s important to recognize that you have intrinsic worth, regardless of your accomplishments or how well you meet your own or others’ expectations.
Finally, there’s the belief that others expect perfection from you. Perfectionists often feel like they need to be flawless to meet others’ expectations, whether it’s from parents, bosses, or peers. But this pressure is often self-imposed. Most people understand that mistakes happen and that no one is perfect. In fact, showing vulnerability and admitting when things aren’t perfect can actually strengthen your relationships, making you more relatable and easier to connect with.
By becoming aware of these delusions, you can start to challenge them. Ask yourself if these beliefs are really serving you or if they’re holding you back. Recognizing that perfectionism is rooted in fear and unrealistic expectations is the first step toward letting go of these limiting beliefs. Embracing imperfection doesn’t mean lowering your standards; it means being realistic about what you can achieve and recognizing that there’s value in the process, not just the outcome.
